The Ultimate Crowdsourced Definition of a Karen in the era of COVID-19.

There seems to be confusion on the regressive left about what the definition of a Karen is. In the last few days, I have witnessed several of my left-leaning friends and acquaintances attempt to appropriate the term “Karen” to mean someone who is against wearing masks. Each time, they failed spectacularly at correctly using the term.

While this rampant misuse is itself hilarious, it is ultimately incorrect. In order to help things get back on track (so that those of us who have not yet lost our minds can continue to enjoy the correct use of the term), I crowdsourced a definition of the term Karen. I started with my own definition and then solicited input and feedback from the masses. Due to the nature of our world, I made it specific to how a Karen behaves in the era of COVID-19 rather than a general application of the term. Should you have more to add, please feel free to elaborate in the comments.

Kingdom: Eradica
Phylum: Gulaga
Class: Tattle-tale-ia
Order: Hypocrite
Family: Busybodae
Genus: Home-alone
Species: karenus

Overbreeding and lack of natural predators have caused this once nearly extinct creature to thrive under current conditions.

A Karen is a person who is a killer of fun. They are usually bougie, entitled women who will inevitably ask to speak to the manager should you not conform to the way she expects you to behave.

A Karen will not hesitate to call the cops and tattle on neighbors who dare to have a BBQ, and will call you selfish for wanting to protect your freedom while simultaneously trying to impose her wannabe authoritarian view of the world on you. Karens only care about freedom when it comes to their freedom to behave like a Karen.

A Karen will endlessly lecture on the virtues of masks and locking down the economy while simultaneously sitting at home collecting a paycheck and not giving a shit about the 100,000 small business owners who have permanently shut down their life’s work as a result of fear porn and mass hysteria.

Although most people identify a Karen as a woman due to the distinctive Karen haircut many of them have, do not be fooled. They can also identify as male or non-binary and still be referred to as a Karen. Karen is not a gender, nor is it a haircut. Karen is a state of mind.

Kate Gosselin from Jon and Kate Plus Eight, Mika Brzezinski of MSNBC, actors Alyssa Milano and Michael Rappaport, Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter, Jennifer Rubin of The Washington Post, and Brian Stelter of CNN.

A group of Karens is most often called a complaint. May also be referred to as a tattle, a privilege, a scold, a gripe, a busybody, a judgment, a Twitter, or The View.

Organizational psychologist. Coach. Accidental commentator. Unwoke activist. Compulsive knitter. Find me at drkarlyn.com

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